How and why did my life end up this way?
I feel so stressed and depressed everyday.
My image of a happy family has sadly shattered
Because Dad died. None thereafter mattered.
I’m always busy keeping myself sane
In spite of me going through so much pain.
Dear Jesus, I want to keep trusting you.
But my poor soul does not know what to do.
The happiness and wealth in our lives we once had,
In a few years time has long since drowned in quicksand.
Presently my family has been reduced to people of three.
My dear God, I don’t know what on earth will happen to me.
I’m so desperate to get out of this miserable state
But I’m chasing wind and creating my own fate.
I know I should trust you but I;m afraid of my tomorrow.
I dread that my life only leads to nothing but sorrow.
Please be kind to me, I’m drowning in my own tears.
I’m wallowing in self-pity and my own fears.
Sometimes I just want to die and be with you
But then I think that my mission is not yet through.
Copyright Star Ashley Cruz
February 4, 2018