I hate everything, even my relatives and family,
I hate the very existence of anybody.
What if I go crazy? What if I’m mad?
I might kill everyone right at hand.
I can’t help it, I know I’m selfish,
Be away from people is always a wish.
Jesus used to keep me from being insane
But it keeps going – my troubles and pain.
In a split second, I gathered more than one thought,
My worries for everything is what I fought.
Why, my God have you created me?
When I am stuck in a worthless family?
It’s hard for me to be nice to the people around me,
When all their dirt is what I experience and see.
I’m too tired just to be considerate,
Why aren’t you helping me strengthen my faith?
I’m not blaming you about everything,
But look at my life, what’s happening?
My father’s dead and my mother grows old and weaker,
And a constant drunkard of a brother.
I hate everything from strangers to kin,
My mask of a face is wearing thin.
I’ll write these down through pen and paper.
Help me God before I resort to murder.
Copyright Star Ashley Cruz
June 23, 2018
Tired from seeing you trying
But you always end up failing.
Your efforts are smaller compared when you procrastinate,
I don’t want my love for you to turn into hate.
I realize that not everything is your fault,
But I can’t help it when we lose our salt.
I keep praying to God day and night,
That somehow we can win life’s fight.
But now the fight becomes a battle,
Why is it me that life wants to rattle?
It’s difficult when it feels like I’m always the one trying harder,
I hate waiting so long and wasting time in fighting each other.
I feel like I’m always running out of time each day,
Nothing significant happens in each and every way.
No matter how fast I think and do anything,
I’m still sad over you and everything.
I want our future established strongly well,
But our limitations and weakness is inside our shell.
God has put us together but I’m afraid of what the future will hold,
These are the thoughts that I’ve never told.
Star Ashley Cruz
June 13, 2018