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What on earth will happen to me?

How and why did my life end up this way?

I feel so stressed and depressed everyday.

My image of a happy family has sadly shattered

Because Dad died. None thereafter mattered.

I’m always busy keeping myself sane

In spite of me going through so much pain.

Dear Jesus, I want to keep trusting you.

But my poor soul does not know what to do.

The happiness and wealth in our lives we once had,

In a few years time has long since drowned in quicksand.

Presently my family has been reduced to people of three.

My dear God, I don’t know what on earth will happen to me.

I’m so desperate to get out of this miserable state

But I’m chasing wind and creating my own fate.

I know I should trust you but I;m afraid of my tomorrow.

I dread that my life only leads to nothing but sorrow.

Please be kind to me, I’m drowning in my own tears.

I’m wallowing in self-pity and my own fears.

Sometimes I just want to die and be with you

But then I think that my mission is not yet through.

Copyright Star Ashley Cruz

February 4, 2018